


Indisposed

by KrystalSan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Crying Loki (Marvel), Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki - Freeform, Post-Avengers (2012), Protective Bruce Banner, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Sick Character, Sick Loki (Marvel), Sickfic, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19220830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystalSan/pseuds/KrystalSan
Summary: Takes place after the Avengers movie.Loki is brought back to Asgard after the events of the first movie. He's tortured before eventually being rescued by Thor.. but what exactly happened?..Warning for self-harm. It's not really graphic but I shall put one up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Marvel fic ever. My younger sister told me I should write one so I did.  
> As for the self-harm; it won't be in the way you think.  
> Please excuse any typos/grammar errors.  
> Enjoy~

_Prisoner._ How could _he_ of all people be degraded to such a title? He was a god for crying out loud. If anyone were a prisoner, it would be The 'Avengers'; who listened to orders like mindless hounds. It truly sickened him. He would rather rot in his cell than kneel to the mindless oaf named Odin. 

Loki sat deep in his thoughts before the sound of guards pulled them from it. The way they dragged their feet made him cringe.

"Let's go, Prisoner." One guard spoke, the yellow magic opening to let Loki walk through. After he stepped out he was shackled; the chains chaffing his wrists and ankles. He was quickly muzzled as well.

He was led rather roughly to the throne room where his _highness_ sat with a smug look on his face. If he wasn't muzzled, he would spit at him. How disgusting.

"Loki," Odin spoke his tone dripping with disappointment, "I want you to know that none of this is personal. It's just to teach you a lesson for killing mortals without second thought. Sometime in isolation will teach you a lesson. Take him away."

With those three last words, Loki was brought to a cell he didn't know existed. It was a massive downgrade. The cell was dark and cold for a starter. The cell smelled foul, as if some creature had died inside of it. 

 _Surely, this is underneath the castle._ He thought to himself, his mouth still muzzled.

Loki was not happy with where he would be staying but it beat having his magic removed.  He wish he could escape this fate but his chains prevented any form of his magic.

 _Again,_ he was pulled from his thoughts as a guard roughly shoved him into his cell. He did not understand why they were being so rough. He knew he was guilty but him being shoved around was uncalled for. Once he got out, he knew he would be having a word with his fa-.... with Odin. These quims must be fired.

"I hope you like it down here, Slut." The guard's empty laugh worried Loki. Why would he be called such a thing? He knew not what a meant but it couldn't mean well. 

Time passed very slowly in the darkness. Loki felt himself growing tired but felt the need to refuse sleep. He would never admit to anyone but himself but he felt unease being down here. He knew that surely Thor and Odin wouldn't let these guards have their way with him...

He wanted it to be true but a few hours later, his cell reopened and before he knew it he was being stripped of his clothing.

Now he was frightened.

Loki began to struggle as much as he could but he was hit in the head with a blunt object. It really hurt him and he stopped struggling. He laid there quietly. before he knew he was naked.

He felt a guard get on top of him and began to  _rape_ him. He grabbed Loki extremely hard, choking him for his own sadistic pleasure.Loki wanted to cry and to scream. But there was no point... No one would hear him.. No one would rescue him.. No one would care. Suddenly. he felt like this monster that was destined to die for his crimes against humanity.

It felt like an eternity before the man got off of him. Loki laid on the floor in shock as to what happened. His body suddenly ached as he coughed gasping for air. He rubbed his throat where the man choked him really hard.

The man left, but soon after another man came in the room. He was unsure as to if it was the same man or not. There was no sex this time; instead the man began to beat Loki.

By norns it hurt. It was punches and kicks in his arms and legs before the guard hit him in places like his face and his chest. He wheezed as he endured each hit. He began crying as he felt an additional pair of hands and feet strike him. What he did was awful, but this was downright torture. At least he didn't make the mortals suffer- He felt each breath become harder and harder to take. He didn't understand why... his chest had taken the least amount of blows. He felt himself gasping for air as his chest heaved.  He didn't know what was happening to his body...

_He could not breathe_

Everything went dark and that's when everything stopped hurting.

 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

He had no track of time down there. It didn't matter anyways. The beatings and the rapes never ceased. He wasn't sure how long he had been down there. He had grown a bit ill in his time being there. He felt chilly with and he couldn't stop coughing/ Not that anything mattered. He deserved all this pain.

 

He heard the cell open again... He was prepared for the worst, as always. But these hands that touched him did not beat or rape him. They were gentle and they felt familiar.

"Loki?" The voice spoke as he felt himself gentle being picked up into muscular arms.

Loki opened his eyes and strained them. He could make out that it was Thor...He came?...

He felt his muzzle and chains being taken off. He was really scared... What could he have come for?Unless...

"Oh look at you..." Thor's voice was gentle... It confused him.."We must get you out of here..." Thor took off his cape and he gentle wrapped it around his brother's shivering shoulders. Moments later, felt himself being lifted bridal style.

He felt himself falling asleep... 

Was Thor really here to save him?.. After all this time? Why would he? He never did before.. He softly began crying; not knowing what to do.

Thor gently rocked him... He allowed himself to be soothed like a child. Why was he so weak?

"Brother, I was looking for you. Father hid you... It's been about two months. _Please_ , relax. You're safe now. I'm going to take you far from here." His voice was so soft in his ears. 

He let himself fall asleep. He could not stay awake much longer. He relaxed knowing he wouldn't be beaten anymore.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!!! Ayeee. This one basically wrote itself! This is dedicated to Maggie for commenting. Thanks for 12 kudos! As for the panic attacks, that's coming next chapter! Just you wait! Ignore typos. I'm on mobile.

Chapter 2!!!!! uwu

\----------

Loki wasn't sure where he was being taken. He felt silly but his mind was very clouded. If he wasn't mistaken, he believed he was in Midgard. Wherever he was, it was loud. He cringed as the noise aggravated his migraine. 

"Brother, we are here!" Thor's voice boomed into his ears, adding onto the pain.

"W-where exactly is here?" God, his voice sounded so pathetic. It lacked his superior tone, it instead trading it for weak hoarse one.

"Midgard!" 

Of course. He was right. He was curious, why would he be taken here? Surely there was somewhere less predictable among the nine realms. Loki didn't really mind where, he was just worried they were pretty likely to be captured here. 

"O-Oh.. But what is exactly we are doing here?" He asked with a slight frown.

"We are here because it is the only place I have friends." Thor replied.

Friends?.. He did not understand.. Unless he meant... Oh norns, no...

"Friends? You mean those mortals?" He replied unsteadily.

"Yes! I am hoping Man of Iron will allow us to stay. He is a good friend and I am sure he will understand, Brother." 

That's it. He was doomed. Let Odin just kill him now.

"Brother! You mustn't worry! He will help us!"  
Thor tried reassuring him. Had he spoken aloud?

"If you say so... Need I remind you I threw him out a window not even three months ago!" Loki argued.

"What do you suggest we do, Brother?"

....

Thor was right. This was their only shot. Loki had no idea what else they could do.. He assumed that his silence had spoken for him when Thor spoke up,

"That's what I thought. Come on, now." Thor aided Loki in walking. 

He was unsteady on his own feet but at least his injuries were mostly heavy bruises and not broken bones. Of course, it still had hurt. He may be smart but his body wasn't built for excessive blows. That's why he preferred magic over using a sword, after all. He could attack from a distance. Granted a bow-n-arrow had the same effect, but magic was far more impressive in his opinion.

The two continued on their walk to Stark Towers. Loki hated how he limped; he felt pathetic.He was a God! He hoped no one was judging his idiotic limp. Wait, why would he care? The mortals opinions mattered not. 

After walking for another 15-20 minutes, Loki felt exhausted. They had reached his tower. 

"Brother, do you wish to remain here while I explain the situation to Stark? I do not wish to startle him." Thor asked quietly.

"I do not mind.." He chuckled weakly, "It will give me time to run if they decide to punch my face in." 

"I hardly find this topic amusing." 

The oaf could be so oblivious to Loki's self deprecating jokes. It was probably for the better.

"Yes, Brother. I do not mind waiting."

With that, the Thunder God disappeared into the elevator that opened for him.While he was gone, Loki felt his chest tighten. Was this n-normal? He felt a bit breathless. Was he panicking? Oh, he mustn't be ridiculous! He had no reason to panic... But he felt himself doing so anyways. Loki folded his arms in attempt to calm himself. He took some deep breaths before the feeling slowly died down. What was that? He never wished to feel such an emotion again! 

After around ten more painful minutes, Loki found himself leaning against a wall. He had no idea he felt so tired. He wish he could just sleep right there. He felt himself dozing off before a hand touched his shoulder.

"Loki!" 

He jumped with the mention of his name and the hand touching. He didn't know why but he felt on edge. He did not like this physical contact.

"Relax,Brother. It is I," Thor's voice was gentle again-

Loki felt himself relax. It had been about thirty seconds and no one had come to hit him yet.

"I explained the situation to Man of Iron. He didn't seem too pleased but he said he was willing to give us room and board. You must relax." 

"I am r-relaxed." Loki stuttered. Norns, he sounded stupid. Stuttering. What was he? Four? How embarrassing.

"If you're so sure. Let us go up, we will get you settled." Thor led Loki to the elevator. 

His stupid limp!

When the elevator reached the floor, there was a crowd of displeased Avengers staring at the two. 

"Loki." Tony stated flatly.

Loki felt like his heart was hit with a hammer. He felt nervous. He shouldn't be. They wouldn't hurt him. Would they?

"S-Stark." Loki found himself gazing at the floor. His cheeks burned, he could feel himself blushing.

Natasha was the first to speak,  
"You do anything funny and I'll hurt you quicker than you can process what happened." She threatened.

Loki, of course, raised his hands as to protect from a hit.

"N-No... I do not intend to misbehave..." 

'He sounds afraid...' Tony thought.

"Good.We shouldn't have any problems then." She stated simply.

He felt some of the weight on his chest ease. He was still being stared at however.

It was silent before Tony spoke up, breaking the awkward silence.

"I'll show you where you'll guys be staying." He stated. The two followed him into a room that had two beds in it.

"I didn't know if you two would have wanted separate rooms. I figured if you shared a room; Thor would be able to keep a better eye on you. It might make you feel better as well, Loki." 

Would it? He didn't want to share a room with Thor but it was far more acceptable than sleeping on a cold stone floor all alone. Now that he thought about it, the company may be more welcomed than he thought. If anyone of them wanted to slit his throat; Thor could protect him. Was he delirious? Thor wasn't his protector... But he was afraid to admit that he did feel safer with his older brother nearby.

"You catch that, Loki?" Tony asked, waving to get his attention.

Loki frowned, did he zone out?

"N-No.. Could you repeat?"

"I said if you any of you need anything; just ask JARVIS.He'll be able to help you.You guys can get settled in, I have worked to do." With that, Tony left the room, leaving Thor and Loki alone. 

"Brother, do you wish to bathe? I do not mean to insult you but you smell rather... Unpleasant." 

He smelled? Oh gods... He felt so ashamed.

"Y-Yes, please." Wait, was he allowed to? "If I'm allowed" he quickly added.

Mr. Loki is permitted to bathe. Loki has semi-access to the tower. Restrictions apply. JARVIS spoke, startling both Gods.

"What was that?" Thor asked, voicing his brother's question.

I am JARVIS, Master Stark's AI system. I am available for assistance if need be.

"Okay, Sky voice!" Thor replied happily.

Loki didn't understand where the voice came from but he felt really dizzy suddenly. His knees buckled as he was caught by strong arms.

"Brother, are you unwell? You are shivering a bit." Thor asked sitting Loki on his bed.

"Yes. I am well. Just a bit cold.. I wish to bathe, please."

"Okay, Brother. Let's get you into the shower."

With that, the two made their way to the bathroom.

"Please, sit. I will set the water for you." 

Loki didn't argue. He was feeling a little sleepy. He wanted to bathe and wanted to sleep. 

A minute passed and Thor exited the bathroom and left Loki to bathe. The warm water relaxed his aching muscles. He hadn't had a shower in a very long time. It felt nice...

His shower was brief. He dried off with a towel. Before weakly using his magic to put some night clothing on him, his light silk green pajamas. 

"How are you feeling, Brother?"

"Tired." Loki replied honestly.

"Perhaps you should get some sleep" Thor frowned. Loki's behavior was concerning him.

"I shall." He climbed into the bed. It was so soft.  
Thor pulled the covers up to Loki's chin.  
Normally he would argue with Thor's fussing but he was just so tired. He let Thor dote on him as he let his eyes slide close.

Thor noted it was only around 4:30pm. Laying Loki down for a nap was for the best. He needed all the rest he could get. Normally he would argue with his brother that napping was unhealthy, but he wouldn't voice that argument now. Especially when his brother was in such a fragile state. 

Thor turned off the light and left. He would stay with Loki but while he was there, he wanted to catch up with his friends.

The Avengers were lounging in the living room when Thor joined them. 

"Hey, Big Guy." Tony greeted

"Hello, Stark." 

"Where's your parasitic twin?" He commented after noticing the lack of Loki.

"Loki? He decided to sleep. He said he was tired." 

"At 4:35pm?" Clint accused, "Isn't that a little late to nap?" 

"Tis it is." Thor replied, "but I fear he is unwell. It's not like him to nap."

"Unwell? How?" Bruce asked, suddenly intrigued.

"I'm not entirely sure. He was shivering and he seems a bit pale. He had a dizzy spell after Man of Iron left. He didn't fall unconscious but he did almost fall."

Bruce considered this before speaking,  
"Maybe I should examine him." 

"Pfft. He's probably fine, Bruce." Clint added before Natasha elbowed him.

"He's a trickster but I don't think he'd lie about this." Natasha stated blandly, "You saw him." 

"You're sympathizing with the war criminal?" 

"No." There was a pause, "But he couldn't even talk without stuttering. Something is clearly up with him."

"If you say so." Clint shrugged.

"I'll check on him later, just to be sure." Bruce said after everyone had gone silent.

"Brucie, why examine him? I mean, this has to be a Doctor thing-" Tony added.

"It might be- but something could be very wrong. I'll feel better if I can say it's not an area for worry. As for his injuries, I wish to examine those as well. He was really bruised and I just want to make sure he has no broken bones or fractures."

Broken bones? Thor hoped not. 

"Okay, wellll, you can do what you want. I'm not gonna try and convince you otherwise." He stated fairly. Bruce nodded.

After that the conversation changed.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Loki was so cold... But he was under covers.... No.... He was in his cell....

What...  What was he doing here?

God... His body ached as if he had just been beaten.

His eyes strained to adjust the light. He saw two silhouettes of men. 

Gods......N-No!

'Get off!!!' He wanted to cry out. He couldn't. He was muzzled.

He was sobbing. He thought he had escaped. He was wrong. It was all illusion. A joke played on him because he was a monster! 

'STOP! PLEASE!' he screamed.. 

He felt the hands begin to shake him.

'S-Stop it, please!!!' The shaking made him feel nauseous. 

'Loki!'

How did they know his name? 

He continue to thrash and cry until suddenly everything he saw faded.

....

"Loki... Do not cry... You are safe..." There were those strong arms around him again. He felt his myself breath heavily. The hands were gently stroking his hands. 

However, he continued to cry. It took him a couple minutes to adjust to his surroundings.

He was in Stark Towers... Not in a cell.He felt instant relief.

"Does he normally have nightmares?" Bruce asked quietly.

"No.." Thor replied sadly.

Loki rubbed his eyes. God they were so heavy.

"Relax, Brother." Thor continued to soothe him. Normally he would push Thor off, but he welcomed the attention. He felt himself relax slowly. A few more minutes passed before Banner spoke up,

"Loki... I want to examine you. Will you be okay if Thor lets go of you for a few minutes?"

Loki hesitated. But he nodded as he sat up and fixed his posture. Anything to let him get back to sleep sooner..

Bruce examined him; Loki wasn't really paying attention. He just nodded yes or no.  
One question however, caught his attention.

"Loki, are you feeling well?You feel a bit warm and you look a little flushed."

"Yes. I am well." He lied quickly.

"Hmm.. I'd like to take your temperature, if that's okay with you."

He nodded. Shortly after he felt something being put into his ear. He got startled and jumped. 

"100.7, that's a fever. It's not too bad, but we should monitor it just in case." 

"He is ill?" 

"I'm afraid so. It's a bit of a fever. I think he'll be fine, but I'll monitor him just in case."

"Thank you, Doctor Banner." 

"No problem. Loki should go back to sleep. He's gonna need as much rest as possible."

"I shall return to s-sleep." Loki muttered curling back up in his blankets. He was so tired and exhausted. He welcomed sleep more than ever.

Maybe things would be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR SELF-HARM /PANIC ATTACKS. 
> 
> You've been warned. Anyways this story is writing itself and rather quickly! 😊😊 Thanks again to maggie for commenting.

Chapter 3!! Thanks for 29 kudos!

 

\-----------

 

      He woke up in the middle of the night, or so he thought. He sat up slowly and quietly.         It was dark; the only light was the moon peering in through the window. Thor was asleep in the bed next to him, snoring a bit loud.He wonders how the snoring didn't wake him up. He always thought of Thor as a giant hog.

 

   Loki frowned as he felt himself shiver. His muscles felt a bit better and so did his bruises. Only a bit, he still was hurt a considerable amount. Loki still felt sick, however. He had awful chills that made his muscles ache.

 

  He wondered if he should remain in bed or attempt to walk to the bathroom by himself.

 

   ' _I_ _can get up..._ _It's about_ _ten feet away.'_ He thought as he slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

 

He began to slowly walk on his wobbly legs before he felt his knees buckle. He attempted to grab the wall for support but all efforts were futile. He hit the floor with a loud _thud._

 

_Ouch..._ He moaned in pain before he felt those familiar hands on his shoulders.

 

   "Loki... What are you doing out of bed? How did you end up on the floor?" Thor asked worriedly.

 

   "I-I fell."

 

  "You could've woken me up. I wouldn't have minded helping you to the restroom." Thor pulled his weakened brother up to his feet before wrapping his brother's arm around his neck.

 

  He got his brother to the bathroom and allowed him to do his business.

 

   ' _He felt pretty_ _warm._ _Perhaps it_ _is best I put a cool_ _towel on_ _his_ _forehead.'_ Thor thought as he waited.

 

   Loki emerged from the bathroom shortly and Thor quick to aid him back into his bed.

 

  "I'll be right back." Thor said after pulling the covers over Loki. Loki didn't say anything.

 

   Thor went into the bathroom and returned shortly with a damp cold towel. He folded it and placed it on Loki's forehead.

 

   Loki reacted to the cold towel and attempted to swat it away. Thor grabbed his brother's wrists and prevented him from doing so.

 

   "You are roasting, little brother. Leave it so it can cool you down." Thor spoke as gently as he could.

 

   "B-But it-it's c-cold!" Loki whined.

 

"I know, I know.. Shh"

 

The cool cloth remained on Loki's forehead as he fell back to sleep.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

     Morning came faster than Loki wanted it to. He was still exhausted, though his mind felt less groggy.

 

   He was just lying in his bed. He wanted nothing more than to just disappear into nothingness. Loki felt he was worrying a bit too much about everything. What worried him most was that _he couldn't help_ _it._ He was a god but he felt this unrelenting worry.

 

   What if the Avengers beat him? What if they really want to kill him? What if...

 

   God... He could feel himself breathe faster and faster. That exact same feeling he loathed yesterday.

 

    ' _Come_ _on,_ _Loki. You_ _can do something as simple as breathing properly. Nothing is wrong with you._

 

_Nothing is_ _wrong with_ _you_

 

_Nothing is_ _wrong_ _with_ _you_

 

_Nothing is wrong with_ _you'_

 

He repeated to himself as he folded his arms and began scratching himself rather roughly in an attempt to snap himself out of it.

 

  This, however, didn't calm him. It only allowed for little droplets of blood to come out of his scratch wounds.

 

   He couldn't breathe! He felt like he was gonna pass out as little black dots layered his vision.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:

 

    _**Sir, it**_ _ **appears**_ _ **Loki is in**_ _ **severe emotional**_ _ **distress.**_ JARVIS spoke interrupting the Avengers' conversation.

 

     "Dammit. Should I go check on him or do you want to, Bruce?" Tony asked.

 

   "I think we should all go." Thor added.

   Bruce nodded in agreement.  

 

With that, the three headed for the room Loki & Thor were sharing. Upon entering, they found Loki panicking, his knees drawn to his chest as he rocked himself slowly.

 

    Tony slowly approached him.

 

  "Hey, Reindeer games. You shouldn't do that, you're gonna really hurt yourself." Tony stated while observing Loki's scratch wounds.

 

   Loki remained silent.

 

"Brother, what has you so worked up?" Thor asked, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

 

    "I-I j-just... I d-don't know. I feel l-like I c-cannot breathe." Loki huffed

 

   Bruce took control.

 

"It only feels like that because you're experiencing a panic attack."

 

   "A w-what?"

 

  "A panic attack. I need you to calm down or I'm going to have to sedate you. You shouldn't hurt yourself."

 

   Loki was unaware of the long scratches on his arms.They were bloody and they were a deep angry red.

 

   "I d-did that? I didnt m-mean to!" He defended, sounding scared. Now he really was upset. He had to be losing his mind.

 

He began to tear up.

 

   "I know, Loki. How about we take you to medbay so I can clean and wrap your arms?"

 

      "N-No. I can't do this." Loki allowed the tears to fall. He was so weak and pathetic.

 

... "Hey, hey, calm down." Bruce wasn't sure if he should make physical contact or not. Hugging Loki in this state could further upset him.

 

  Thor didn't have a second thought on the matter. He pulled Loki into a tight hug. Thor could feel Loki's wheezing breaths. He gently rubbed his younger brother's back.

 

   "Relax.. I've got you..."

 

Loki was trying his best to relax but he felt he couldn't.

 

   "I-I..." He choked out. A finger was placed over his lips.

 

"Hush now."

 

Loki did as he was told. He didn't know why. He felt so foolish. He was better than this. Part of him was so ready to push Thor off, but his older brother's touch soothed him and he couldn't pinpoint why.

 

   After about ten minutes, Loki felt himself calm. Tony had left the room at some point, as did Bruce. Bruce returned with gauze and rubbing alcohol.

 

    "Loki, we need to wrap those arms. I don't want you to get an infection."

 

   Loki nodded and let the doctor work. Soon after, his arms were wrapped in light gauze. it made moving his arms a bit hard and he couldn't bend them much.

 

   "I have a fever reducer for your fever. I modified it so it should be stronger and work on you. I know you're a god so our mortal medicines probably have no effect. Thor told me earlier you felt really hot." He had the thermometer in his hand. Loki welcomed it.

 

   A moment later, it was pulled out his ear.

 

  "101.4," Bruce read aloud, "You need to rest. You have to stay in bed, no matter what. Being up and about will worsen your illness."

 

   "I understand." Loki stated.

 

  "Alright. I'll leave you two alone. Feel better soon."

 

   He left the room.

 

  As soon as he did, Loki was going to speak but was cutoff by Thor.

 

   "Don't speak. Just relax and focus on your breathing. Are you hungry?"

 

    He nodded no.

 

"Okay, well rest well, brother. I'll be back to check on you. Perhaps, man of iron will have something for you to instead of being in bed."

 

   Loki just nodded again and he let himself fall asleep.

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

"He did what?" Clint asked shock.

 

  "Self-mutilation. I don't believe it was intentional, however." Bruce noted.

 

  "That's crazy..."

 

The Avengers were gathered in a living space. They just had dinner and were now discussing Loki's wellbeing.

 

  "What should we do?" Tony asked.

 

"There's not much we can do for the moment. He had one panic attack. That's not enough for me to go off of in terms of a diagnosis-- He's been a little sick. I'm not positive he isn't contagious but just to be safe, everyone please make sure you wash your hands."

 

   "Right... So he has the sniffles and you're just telling us now?"

 

  "I don't think it's a cold, Tony. He was feverish and out of it. It could be the flu but his only symptom is a fever. That I'll also need further info to diagnosis. For the time being, I'll have to take care of him and make notes."

 

    "So the wait game. That's fantastic." Tony stated nonchalant.

 

    "Indeed it is. Indeed it is."    


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Banner fluff/filler..next chapter has more action.  
> Please leave kudos. They're like candy.

 

 

Loki wasn't sure how he could sleep like this. The gauze on his arms made them stiff and as much as he wanted, he couldn't find a position comfortable to sleep. Whenever he did find a comfortable position, he woke up rather quickly in a state of panic. 

 

He knew it his illness could be affecting his ability to sleep but he wasn't sure at this point. He felt so idiotic for letting himself to have "panic attacks". Surely they were something mortals had control over? If it that wasn't the case then how come they didn't end up in panic like this? Unless he was mad..

 

He felt so tired... He wanted to rip his bandages off and just sleep.. But he couldn't risk an infection.. Could he? 

 

He'd rather have an infection. Surely things could not get worse than they currently were? He was already fevered as stated by the doctor. 

 

Loki began ripping his bandages off his forearms. Slowly but surely since his arms ache terribly. He really did a number on them, hadn't he? 

 

Someone must've have been watching because before he knew it a hand was smacking his. He let out a whine, it was rather childish but he wasn't sure how else to express his discomfort.

 

"Loki!!! They're on you for a reason! Don't touch them, please!" Bruce held out Loki's arms and began rewrapping them, "I know they're bothering you but if you can't sleep, I can sedate you." 

 

"S-sedate? Like a poison? F-force me to sleep?" Loki frowned and tensed.

 

"No no.." Bruce's voice suddenly became gentle-- Loki didn't know why the quiet tones relaxed him, "It's a medicine. If you're having trouble sleeping, it'll put you safely to sleep." 

 

While Loki had a tad bit of trust in the doctor, his pride came forth out of the blue.

 

"No. I will not let you poison me!" He raised his voice, "I c-can sleep perfectly on my own!.."  He wished badly for it to be true.

 

"Relax, Loki. No one's poisoning you. I'll tell you what. If you can sleep for at least two hours without waking up, we can skip the sedates," Bruce tried bargaining with the god of mischief, "I know you're hurting, but this could do you some good."

 

Bruce was trying his best to remain calm. He knew that raising his voice back or showing any signs of anger could frighten the patient and could discourage trust. 

After a moment, Bruce still didn't receive an answer.

 

"I'll take that as a yes-- also, try not to raise your voice. I know you're scared but I can assure you I'm just trying to make you feel better." Bruce added, looking at the time on his watch. It was around 7am- the God of Mischief had been sleeping on and off all night. It wasn't healthy at all-- Bruce felt bad for worrying for someone he should consider an enemy.. it had to be his doctor instincts..  To care for the sick and injured.

 

Loki sighed heavily.

 

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never had trouble sleeping before. I feel restless." He spoke truthfully, his voice sounding the most confident it had been since his arrival. He couldn't shake the negative thoughts from his mind. He was exhausted and felt his pride could rest in order for him to get proper sleep.

 

"I know you're having trouble. Thor said you went through a lot in the dungeons. It's a normal reaction. There's nothing wrong with you, you just need some time to heal." Bruce gently tugged the covers over Loki, the god not resisting being covered. 

 

Loki felt himself blush a bit. He couldn't believe he was being so open with the doctor.. It had to be the illness, right? If he were in his right mind, he would not actually be considering befriending the doctor.. The doctor had been nice since upon his arrival..

He shook the thought at befriending one of the Avengers, as they called themselves.

 

"Are you feeling any worse?" Bruce inquired, eyes scanning over Loki's form. The guy didn't look any worse, just tired and worn out. 

 

"Hmm.. no, not really." 

 

"You're positive?" He asked one final time. 

 

"Yes. I am. Doctor, I do not mean to i-impose- but am I allowed some water?" 

 

Bruce felt his jaw drop but he quickly closed it.

 

"Of course you're allowed water. You're not a prisoner, Loki. Can you sit up on your own while I get you water?" 

 

Loki nodded before Bruce disappeared. He put his elbows underneath him and pushed up. He felt really weak, mostly tired, but the task hadn't proved itself too hard. Bruce returned momentarily with a glass of water, handing it to Loki slowly, ensuring the god had a firm grip on the glass.

 

"Be careful. You're pretty shaky and I don't want you to spill on yourself." 

 

"I will be. Thank you." Loki began drinking the water faster than he'd like to admit. The coldness of it blessing his aching throat. He must have been drinking too fast because he began choking. Bruce quickly removed the glass from his hands, setting it on the nightstand before giving Loki's back a firm patting. 

 

"This is why you have to drink slowly. Not only because you'll choke, if you drink too fast you could bring it right back up." Bruce scolded as if he were speaking to a child. Loki said nothing but the way his nose scrunched said more than words could describe. He knew that- yet that simple information slipped his mind.

 

"S-sorry." He choked out, body still recovering from the light incident.

 

"Don't apologize. Get some sleep. I'll be back to check on you in two hours. Let's see if you can sleep through it, okay?" His voice was gentle. Loki nodded once more, lowering his body into bed. After having something to drink, he felt blissfully calm. He felt himself drift off into sleep swiftly.

 

 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

 

Bruce ran was drinking coffee in the kitchen area at around 8:30 before Clint joined him, grabbing a mug for himself and sitting next to him. 

 

   "You're up early." Clint noted, checking the time. 

 

Bruce scoffed, "Please, this isn't early for me. Besides, I have a patient that needs some sort of supervision."

 

"He's not actually a patient?" Clint titled his head. Bruce felt himself get a bit annoyed.

 

"You may not like him but he's ill and mentally unwell right now. He is one of my patients because he's too sick to take care of himself. I checked on him earlier today around 7am, I found him tearing off his gauze in confusion. I know health care wasn't apart of him staying here but the guy could barely stay asleep for a couple of hours undisturbed." He felt heated by Clint's snarky comments. They were so unnecessary.

 

"Woah, calm down, Brucie. I was just saying, what if this is a trick?" Clint took a sip of his coffee. Bruce could feel himself going green, but he swallowed down any sort of anger and he stared at Clint in disbelief.

 

"I doubt this is one. You can't easily fake trauma like that. Something very bad happened to him. The poor guy didn't catch any breaks. I want to be the one to give it to him now. He definitely doesn't need any of you bashing him now for this. especially when he can't defend himself." Bruce had stood up from where he sat and he poured his coffee down the drain, having lost any taste for it. It was around 8:40AM now. He should wait a bit before checking in on Loki- the agreement had been two hours after all. 

 

After having that awkward conversation with Clint- the twenty minutes didn't make much of a difference.

 

Bruce went to check on Loki and he found the god fast asleep, wrapped cozily in his blanket. The sight was rather cute. He closed the door to Loki's bedroom before asking JARVIS,

 

"How long has he been asleep for?" 

 

" _ **Master Loki has been asleep for the past hour and forty-five minutes."**_ The AI responded.

 

Loki did it. He was able to sleep for more than half an hour at a time. Bruce decided to leave the god deciding in an hour, he'd ask for an update on the god. Hopefully, he'd show signs of physical recovery soon-- then they could work on mental.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally have a lucid/in-control Loki which Banner helps take a bath. We also figure out about the rapes and why Thor failed to mention them!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually forgot I wrote this but it seemed some of you wanted me to finish it. I thought this was rather cringy re-reading it for the first time in months, but as requested I'll finish where I left off. Please excuse any typo or grammatical errors!! I hope you are still interested in this.

     The next morning felt like it came too suddenly. Groaning, Loki sat up and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. He felt groggy, a bit disorientated, and sweaty, much to his dismay. His clothes felt like they stuck to his skin, only further adding to his disgust. Loki sniffed the air around him and found himself cringing. Was he the source of that foul stench? Perhaps he was permitted to take a shower.

 "Loki?" A voice easily pulled him out of his thoughts. He turned to see Bruce before him.

Muffling a groan, he spoke, " What time is it?" He felt more lucid than he had been these past few weeks.

"It's about 9A.M. You were able to stay sleep and holding up my end of the promise, you don't need to take the medications. Speaking of sleep, you aren't experiencing nightmares or anything of that sort, are you?"

All these questions were beginning to frustrate him.

"No, I have not." He answered truthfully.

"Well, that's good. You can come down for breakfast if you want to or I can bring you something to eat. Your choice." Bruce said, the kind words offering false hope. Food didn't sound appealing at all right now. 

"No thanks. I'll have to pass.. but if it's not too much trouble, I'd fancy a shower," There. He felt enough courage to ask.

Bruce frowned at Loki's decline, "Are you still feeling sick? If you are, maybe a shower isn't the best idea." He did have a flushed look to him, which was a cause for concern. He also made a mental note of how much Loki was sweating.

Loki forgot about his minor ailment, perhaps that is the reason he woke up so sweaty, " I admit I am not, but I feel much too warm and sticky for comfort, Banner." A quick hand was slid on his forehead. 

"You're burning up..How about I draw you a bath instead? I'd rather not risk you collapsing." 

Loki considered refusing, he would not let the Doctor bathe him. But if that was his only option, he'd rather do it than remain this.. disgusting. Sighing and bowing his head in slight embarrassment, he nodded.

"Fine."

A gentle set of hands grabbed his owned, then his arm was thrown over the Doctor's shoulder for support. Together, they made their way to one of the many bathrooms in the tower. This particular bathroom had nothing special about it, it seemed to be a moderate size with a decent sized tub in it. He sat Loki down on the toilet..The tiles felt cool against his burning feet, but it was soothing. The water was set to lukewarm to help combat the fever and to not set him into shock.

"Do you need help undressing?" Bruce asked, disturbing the peace. It was a question he knew would embarrass Loki, but it was one he had to ask. Should Loki need the assistance, Banner would be there to provide it.

"No, I do not." Loki replied too quickly, face blushing from the absurd question. Sure he had been traumatized and felt inhumane at some points, but he was definitely not an invalid. Loki undressed himself, leaving him in just his undergarments. He slowly took off the gauze off his forearms and winced once he saw his self-inflicted wounds. They seemed to have healed a bit as they were not that deep, but there was tons of dried up blood. He felt nauseated looking at it.

"Hey," Banner seemed to have picked up on his inaudible distress, "Don't look at them. Look at me."

He looked up from his arms and over to Banner. 

"There, now are you ready to get into the tub?" He asked walking up to Loki, gently resting his hand on his arm. Loki merely nodded and allowed the Doctor to aid him into the tub. It was undignified but he had to admit he was in no state-of-mind to be doing this alone. The lukewarm water felt cool to his hot skin, he relaxed as it did its magic. He felt a hands gently scrubbing it before realizing the Doctor was actually bathing him.. He blushed intensely and felt he should not allow it, but he felt sick so just decided to leave it without say. 

Banner finished washing Loki before working on his hair, shampooing and conditioning it. Bruce gently worked the knots out of Loki's hair until it felt manageable again. He would let Loki brush his own hair when he was up to it. After he seemed clean enough, Banner gently cleaned Loki's wounds and aided in cleaning the dried blood off them. Loki cringed at the color of the bath water but soon enough it was time to get out. He felt remarkably better than before.

"Thank you." The thanks felt genuine coming from him; which was something he was unused to.

"No problem. Let's get you back to your room." 

Banner helped Loki get back to his room and into some fresh pajamas. Banner changed the sheets and the blankets before letting Loki rest back into bed. The bed had never felt more comfortable, why did he feel so tired? The warmth of the blankets welcomed Loki, it practically screamed at him.

"Sleepy?" Banner guessed, to which all Loki could offer was a simple nod. He sat on the edge of the bed near where Loki rested, " I want to let you sleep but there's one more thing you have to do for me." Bruce softly spoke pulling out a thermometer. 

"Open up." Loki complied and let the thermometer slide under his tongue. Loki could feel himself nodding off. After a couple of minutes, the thermometer beeped and Bruce took it out of the god's mouth.

"101.2? You do feel cooler than before, though. So I'll take what I can get. Are you still not hungry?" A simple nod no, "I figured as much. Maybe Thor may know why you're sick. You weren't sick when you arrived.. My guess may be because you're stressed, but it'd be safe to rule out an external factor like poison." Loki felt disinclined to answer, so Bruce took his silence for him being asleep. He silently stood up from where he sat and left the room to find Thor. Hopefully this was just a minor illness and nothing too serious.

~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~*~*~*

After stepping out the room, he looked up before wondering where the Thunder God could be, before it hit him. He looked up and asked Jarvis, "Hey, Jarvis. Where's Thor at?" 

 _" **You can find Mr. Odinson in the communal area alongside the rest of the team."**_ That was all he needed to know before hopping into the elevator. They often hung out in the same communal area, although there were many others, this seemed to be the favorite of the team. After stepping out of the elevator, Bruce did find them where Jarvis said they would be, not that he ever doubted the A.I.

"Hey, Green giant, nice of you to join us." Tony spoke up, sitting on one of the couches, cup of coffee in-hand.

Thor nodded and added, "Yes, I hope my brother is not giving you too much trouble, is he?" Thor spoke trying to sip the coffee like Tony, but failing.

 "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. When you rescued him was there anything that seemed unusual about him? His fever is getting worse and I want to eliminate outside factors as being the cause of his illness." Bruce stated, taking a seat on one of the couches opposite of Thor.

Thor seemed to consider his answer carefully, " He seemed delirious upon my arrival. He was naked and extremely sensitive to my touch. I could not figure out why, however.. His behavior made no sense to me at first. I knew that the guards had been unkind to him--"

"'Unkind'? You mean beating the shit out of him?" Tony questioned, incredulously, "I've seen beaten up bananas with less markings on them."

Thor sighed,"'Tis the sad truth. I had known not of the abuse he was enduring while imprisoned and because of that, I feel like a failure of a brother." 

Tony's facial expression lightened a bit, "You're not a failure, there was no way you could've known."

"Aye. I do not know the cause of his ailment, Doctor. I know that the guards in Asgard do not administer a poison of any sort, if that's what you are under the suspicion of."

"Thank you, Thor," Bruce thought for a moment before asking, "Did you say he was naked?"

"Yes, although I did not have the time to ask Loki why he was. Perhaps it was out of punishment.. however, he was scared and seemingly confused, I had a job to do and there was time for no questions. I rescued him from that prison cell and have no means of returning him there."

Bruce felt kind of sick thinking about the possibilities.

" I know this may seem random but do you think he was... raped?"

This caused Thor to drop the coffee mug out of his hand and onto the floor. The glass shattering upon impact, its hot content splashing everywhere.

"How dare you suggest that my brother was violated!" Thor seemed enraged, Banner stood up in defense before arguing back,

"Think about it, Thor! All his behavior points to sexual trauma. The hate for touch, the nightmares, the panic attacks!! It also may explain his drastic personality change! He definitely seems too cocky to allow beatings to affect how he feels. He's just like that!"

"Do not assume to know him better than I. I refuse to believe that happened. I can't sit idly by and let that possibility slide without the person responsible facing major consequences." Thor shook his head in disbelief.

Tony groaned before letting out a sigh, "I know, Point Break. You must feel beyond furious, but the damage has already been done. You can't seek vengeance now. What I'm trying to say is that he needs you, Thor." 

The last comment made him cool off a bit, "I suppose you are right, Man of Iron. I hope that Banner is incorrect, however. The thought of someone violating my brother makes me very. very angry."

"I won't have any definite way of knowing unless I can get a straight answer out of Loki or if I can examine him. He's asleep now but he's been more coherent than he has recently." Bruce spoke up, " He'll need more time to heal before we can ask him a question like that. He's prone to panicking and I wish to keep him stable."

Both of the other men nodded before Bruce found himself needing to take a deep breath of fresh of air. He had dealt with many things in his life time. but dealing with trauma patients was something he felt unqualified for. He stepped out of the communal area and began wandering the halls aimlessly. Sure, he could be bothered to examine Loki while he was in deep sleep, but consent was something that played a huge part in his morals. He couldn't... He had to make sure Loki was okay with it.. he had to. 

He sighed before finding himself in front of a window. What was he going to do if Loki was raped? He had to find out how many times and how many people at once.. He felt like throwing up himself.. but that was a conversation to be saved for much later.


End file.
